‘You fool! You will die this very night.
Then who will get everything you worked for?’
– The Holy Bible (Luke 12:20)
Reason Behind Fear
There is a story in the Bible about the Jewish king Hezekiah who had ruled Judah, the ancient kingdom of southern Palestine, for twenty-nine years from 726 to 697 BCE. Hezekiah became king when he was just twenty-five years old. Fourteen years later, he fell seriously ill. The palace physicians tried their best to cure him. However, the condition of the king kept worsening by each passing day. His physicians were frightened and the king was extremely distressed. No one could have rejoiced in the prospect of dying at the young age of thirty-nine.
Then one day Prophet Isaiah arrived at the palace to see the King. The king was happy. He hoped that the a holy man of God would do something miraculous to save his life. However, the Prophet had come with the message of death. He told the king, “This is what the LORD says: Set your affairs in order, for you are going to die. You will not recover from this illness.” (2 Kings 20:1). The Bible says that the king repented and pleaded with God for his life. He eventually recovered and ruled Judah for another fifteen years.King Hezekiah had the privilege to receive an advance notice about his death. He had the good fortune to be granted the time to set his affairs in order. But we ordinary mortals do not have the privilege of such luxuries. No prophet would come to tell us to get ready to die. So it remains entirely our call either to set our affairs in order today when we are alive, or to postpone it for tomorrow when we might be dead. As the Bible says, “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom…”(Psalms 39:6). So, it is reasonable and prudent for us to stay ready to die.
Staying in readiness to die does not mean that we stop living our normal lives. On the contrary, it means that we should lead more happy, peaceful and fulfilling lives accepting the reality that, “life is impermanent like an illusion” (Jokpeme Joseph Omode). We ought to hold dear every moment of our lives. Staying in readiness to die also means that we should keep our personal affairs settled and leave enough information accessible to the people whom we would leave behind on our death. A third dimension of our preparation to die is to live without being haunted and traumatized by the thoughts of death.
“It is information that matters”, says a database company. Critical information that a person carries in his head, or keeps inaccessible to others might have no adverse implications for that person. Death would strike him at its appointed hour and the person would quietly depart, happy to be relieved once for all from the pains and agonies of an earthly life. But the living ones that person would leave behind might encounter a situation of double jeopardy. One caused by the pains of the loss of a loved one and the other because of the losses and damages the death might trigger for want of information on the affairs of the dead.
The adverse impacts of the absence or insufficiency of information on the affairs of the deceased need not be confined within his or her family. Its disastrous consequences might spill over to affect many others including the professional or social associates of the deceased. I briefly narrate below the story of one of my own personal experiences as an example.
It happened some twenty odd years ago. I was working as a member of the core in-house software development team of my employer. The organization had some issues related to its retail billing management. I had analysed the issue and had conceived a software solution to deal with it. But I needed a partner to help me with the coding. So, I roped in a colleague who had the speed and expertise to help me in the job. But this partner was operating from a different location. So it was agreed that the solution would be developed on his UNIX system. We regularly met in his office to discuss ideas and to evaluate progress. After nearly a year of hard work, the software was ready for testing. And we took leave of each other after our last meeting to meet in a week’s time to start the testing.
Unfortunately, the testing we had planned never took place. A couple of days after our last meeting, my partner met with a freak accident. He was waiting on the roadside for a break in the traffic to cross it. Finding a speeding vehicle approaching, he stepped back in a hurry. He staggered, lost his balance and fell hitting the back of his head on the sidewalk. He was rushed to the nearby hospital. He remained in a state of coma in the Intensive Care Unit. I went to visit him and could have only a distant glimpse of his head hidden under a massive bandage. He never regained his consciousness. After a few days, he died.
Everyone who knew him was surprised, shocked and saddened by this tragedy. He was a dedicated employee and a noble soul. It was impossible for anyone to have imagined that he would die at that young age of around forty without being given an opportunity to say even a word to anyone. The software we had worked on for nearly a year would never be deployed. In fact, it was irretrievably lost since I did not have the passwords of the system of my partner, on which the whole product was sitting. It had never occurred to me that precautions of that kind were necessary.
The tragedy taught me a few valuable lessons. One of these is that I should take nothing for granted since there is hardly anything under my control in this world. I also learnt that I should never postpone for tomorrow what I can do today since I do not know what tomorrow holds for me. And a third lesson for me was that I must always stay ready to die so that the people I would leave behind are not put to losses and hardships for want of information about my affairs. In short, it is always better to be prepared than to rue after calamities strike.
The Process
Now, how does one stay ready to die? I believe that there are two parts to the preparations to die. One is to ensure that the people whom we leave behind are not put to trouble because they are left in the dark with regard to our affairs. It is essentially ‘Preparations for Others’. The other part is aimed at preparing ourselves to meet our own death. Although it is inevitable, death is, no doubt, a dreadful change. So it is necessary for us to prepare ourselves to die at an unknown hour. Thus the second part is, ‘Preparations for Ourselves’.
I Preparations for Ourselves
1. Start early. With the average human life expectancy at around eighty, we tend to assume that death is a long way off and there is no hurry to be prepared to die. But it is wiser to begin while one is young and healthy than to wait until you are old or sick or when it suddenly dawns on you that death is round the corner. Always remember that tomorrow might be too late.
2. If you are married, ensure that your employment records carry the details of your family. Keep it current by getting it updated as and when changes, like the arrival of a new member in the family, takes place.
3. As an employee, your family might be entitled to several benefits under the organizational rules or employment contract. These benefits include those active while in service as well as those arising on your death, while in service or after retirement. Always keep in mind that death is a reality from which none can run away. So, ensure that you have recorded your nominations for every benefit available out of your employment. Incorporate changes in those nominations as and when required. For instance, as an unmarried person, you might have nominated your parents as beneficiaries. When you get married, change the nomination in favour of your spouse (assuming that you have no plans to dump your spouse in between).
4. Insure your life, preferably with a public sector insurance company. Do not consider it a mere investment option. In that case you might find investment opportunities offering better long term returns. Understand that life insurance is a valuable security instrument for the benefit of your loved ones in the unfortunate event of your death. It is better not to be solely dependent on what your employer offers.
5. Try to have your financial transactions through joint bank accounts with your spouse, preferably on an ‘Either or Survivor’ basis. This should also apply to all investments you make. Use the option for multiple applicants where ‘Either or Survivor’ option is unavailable. In all cases, make a nomination in favour of your spouse or another member of your family. (It is assumed that there is total trust and transparency within the family, at least on money matters).
6. Prepare your last WILL. If you are a senior citizen, prepare it immediately. It can mitigate the losses and pains of your loved ones after you are gone. It would also ensure that the fruits of your labour would go to the people who are entitled to it. It is better if you could get professional help. But you could yourself develop one from the templates found on the Internet. The WILL is valid even if it is not formally registered with the public authority concerned. Factor in all likely eventualities while preparing the WILL. Retain lifelong rights over your assets for you and your spouse. It is safer that way. You would not be driven out of your own assets while you are alive. Remember that attitudes of the most dear and trustworthy people around you might change without warning. It is better to be cautious. Your successors should receive only what would remain after the death of both you and your spouse.
7. Hire one or more bank lockers to keep your valuables, preferably jointly with your spouse with nomination in favour of another member of the family. Valuables include jewelry, precious metal, important papers like, the documents related your house, properties, your last WILL, and documents related to your financial investments. Keep the originals in the Bank Lockers and copies in the record keeping system you maintain at home. Keep a list of all the items in the Bank Lockers, outside it. One copy could be left inside the locker too.
8. Passwords are critical. Often there are many. These are used to operate digital devices and to carry out online banking and other online transactions. Keep a confidential record of all passwords and keep one copy securely (in a bank locker). Keep it constantly updated with all changes.
9. Maintain a master list of your financial investments. It should carry all essential details. Sort the list based on the date of maturity of the investment. It would help you to keep track of maturing investments. Forgetting to collect the proceedings from matured investments could be costly and it is one of the reasons for investments turning ‘unclaimed’ with the risk of its permanent loss. Keep one copy of the list in the bank locker. Keep it updated. Also, keep the details of all your bank accounts in the same list or as a separate one.
If you have taken loans from individuals or institutions, keep all the records related to it. Miscreants might approach your family with fake demands for repayment of debts.
10. Papers are important even in a digitized world. In certain cases, paper records alone serve. So have a simple system of record keeping at home. It will save the trouble and time searching for records while also providing information to all concerned after your death. Make some broad classification of the papers to be kept. Keep separate folders based on the classification you choose. An indicative approach to classification of the papers might be as follows:
a. Academic – Papers related to your education. Certificates, Mark lists etc.
b. Professional – Important papers related to your career. Separate folders for each employer in case of career moves. Please retain only papers that have some future value.
c. Domestic – Warranty Cards and Purchase bills of appliances and equipment, Utility Bills, Papers related to Motor Vehicles.
d. Immovable Assets– Purchase Deeds, Lease Deeds, Home Construction Plans and approvals. Building Tax receipts, Land Tax receipts…
e. Banking and Insurance – Bank Passbooks, Cheque Books, Account Statements, Correspondence related to bank accounts, Life Insurance Policies, Vehicle insurance policies…
f. Income Tax – All records related to Income Tax
g. Investments – Shares, Bonds, National Savings Certificates, Fixed Deposit Receipts…
h. Personal – Records like birth and death certificates, marriage certificates,
i. Medical – Papers related to Medical Treatments and Medical tests.
II Preparations for Others
1. Do not fear death. Death is a normal, natural, inescapable, and inseparable part of life. As Steve Jobs puts it, “It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new”. The fear of death does not change anything except that it could kill you off early. So accept death as the inevitable reality and be grateful that we have this moment to live, to love, to be loved, to be happy, to be kind, to be helpful, to give, to forgive, to accept, to thank….
2. ‘Memento mori’ (Remember that you will die). Death is our only exit route out of this tedious life on earth. Every day, take a moment to remind yourself of your own death. It makes us understand the preciousness of every moment we are alive. As G K Chesterton once wrote, “The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” Love your life today for it might be lost tomorrow.
3. In his 2005 speech to the graduating students of Stanford University, Steve Jobs said, “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.” And we do not know the hour of our death. Today may be your last day on this earth. So spare a moment or two to ask yourself, ‘is there anything I can do to make this world a better place?’ ‘Is there anyone in whose life I can make a happy change?’ ‘Is there anyone to whom I must say soothing and reconciling words like ‘I love’ ‘I forgive’, ‘Forgive me’, ‘I am sorry’ or ‘Thank you’.’
4. The phrase ‘kick the bucket’ means die. Apparently, the term ‘Bucket List’, meaning a list of the things you want to do before you die, arose out of it. Prepare such a list. It might include tasks to finish, books to read, places to visit, people to meet…. Such a list would keep you constantly reminded of the reality that you have only limited time to strike off the items in the list before you ‘kick the bucket’.
5. Finally, all the pep talks notwithstanding, it remains a fact that most of us are scared of death. Let me confess that I am. Perhaps, spirituality arose primarily out of the deep and frightening mystery, that is death. So, it is not a bad idea to turn spiritual to calm your nerves and live in peace. Prayer could be an effective tool to help us in this area. If you are a praying Christian, I suggest the following prayer by John Henry Newman: “O Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes, the busy world is hushed, the fever of life is over, and our work done. Then, in your mercy, grant us safe lodging, a holy rest, and peace at the last”. Amen. (I have not been reciting any prayers to rid myself of the fears of death, at least not so far. I have cited the prayer since it sounded solemn and solacing).
The suggestions I have made above are mostly based on how I have been going about preparing to meet my own death. I do not expect you to accept or adopt them. The same size does not fit all. Nevertheless, if you have been able to appreciate the need to stay prepared to die, I have achieved my objective.
The End
The book, ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom, is a touching account of the personal experience of the author who had spent one day (Tuesday) every week by the bedside of his former college professor Schwartz Morrie. The professor was seriously ill and his student was there to give him comfort as he struggled through his final days…
I reproduce below a tiny chapter from that international best seller.
“I heard a nice little story the other day”, Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.
”Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.”
“ ‘My God, this is terrible,’ the wave says. ‘Look what’s going to happen to me!’ “
“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, ‘Why do you look so sad?’ “
“The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand! We are all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’ ”
“The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t understand. You are not a wave, you are part of the ocean.’ ”
I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.
“Part of the ocean,” he says, “part of the ocean.”
I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out…
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All clergy should read this
@Tamil selvan Samuel
Thank you. I am happy that you consider it important.
Regards,
Kutty
Informative,time and tide wait for none . When in sixties all become pious . So be prepared .